¿Quien Es Mas Estúpido?

An utterly incredible story out of Stevenson Ranch, California, the movie industry’s stand-in for Pleasantville. During a Nov. 4 visit to the local elementary school by semi-competent TV news reader Chris Schaubel, a white fifth-grader punked a classmate by telling him that Barack Obama was visiting the school. The kid was denounced to “school authorities” by an evil little classmate, and by the end of that day the kid had been kicked out of the school for good by the moronic head of the Newhall school district, a Dr. Marc Winger, who has managed to demonstrate both the failings of a Berkeley education and the vacuity of doctoral “training” in the field of education with a single action.

The charge against the kid, as you can probably surmise, is racism. You know, that “all of them look the same to me” attitude that sophisticated people like Marc Winger ascribe to the Archie Bunker types that Berkeley professors believe populate the land outside Sproul Plaza. Now, take a look at this picture of Chris Schaubel and rank, on a scale of 1 to 10, how closely he resembles Barack Obama. I’d give it a 6 myself, but then I’m the Kligrapp in my local Klavern. Certainly it’s a close enough resemblance to merit a 5th-grade prank from a reasonable distance.

Really, what’s a more racist attitude: saying that Schaubel looks like Obama or saying that whitey can never say that any two black people resemble each other?

Furthermore, who exactly got hurt by this alleged hate speech? Name names, Herr Doktor Winger, or STFU. And some little snitch bitch with an axe to grind against the kid doesn’t count. (Oops; I said “axe.” Is that racist? Is it racist to ask if it’s racist?)

Not one single person (aside from the kid who’s been banished from the Paradise that is Stevenson Ranch Elementary School) has demonstrated a shred of good judgment or common decency. The school district Nazis choose to cower behind their interpretation of privacy laws, which apparently enable them to defame and punish the kids under their command without explanation, let alone justification.

But I think the worst person–the sorriest excuse for a human being–is Chris Schaubel. One brief statement from him saying that he took no offense at being compared to Barack Obama would have quashed this whole stupid business. But–as far as I can tell from googling–he’s (quite uncharacteristically) kept his mouth shut about it.

Fuck you, Schaubel.

Fuck you, Winger.

Fuck you, principal Candy Fleece (yes!) who treated this seriously.

Fuck you, school-board president Susan Solomon (I am not making these names up!), for your mealy-mouthed sliming of the kid  (“there’s more to the story, but I can’t say what it is”).

And fuck you, you little Hitler Youth brat who bitched about this kid to a teacher and then celebrated his expulsion from Paradise Elementary after the wheels of injustice had finished crushing the kid.

You’re all cowards and bullies. But you do a wonderful job showing people why school vouchers are such an excellent idea.

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Filed under People Who Lack Self-Awareness, Politics

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